Maybe we were just not meant to be... We keep on having fights, arguments and such these days... Ever since I stepped into ITE... He kept saying that ITE changed everything... I know myself... I won't fall into traps that easily this time... I'm only there to study...But suddenly I lost my interest in school... My friends in school were great... I'll just keep prayin that I'll hang on for 2 years there...

The school is not the point anyway... It has absolutely nothin to do with my relationship with him... I just don't know why he suddenly changed... Yes, I was reluctant to step into ITE before.. But I failed my o levels and my parents encouraged me to keep schooling... What am I to do?... I can't retake cuz I'll definitely fail... Nobody knows me more than I do...
He keeps accusing me of chatting with someone else one day in school... I really didn't realise he was online... I swear... I was online to send html stuff to my friend and back cuz I was lazy to type everything... My phone was in silent mode as well... Suddenly I feel the urge to text and call him... He won't answer my calls... It really took a while for him to reply and he said I completely ignored him online... Said my friendster and myspace were full of stupid comments from jerks... I swear I didn't realise he was online... I kept apologizing and stuff for the whole day.... He indirectly said that "I" change his msn password... He still won't believe what I said and kept on accusing me of such things I won't do.... Don't you think that all this were caused by some misunderstanding?....And can be settled?...

Untill I couldn't take it anymore....

Maybe breaking up is the best option... Yes, 2 years+ was such a waste to let go....I know..
But can you take it when your own loved one won't believe anything you said?....
How would you feel if your own loved one accuse you of such things you won't do?....
How would you feel to be something for him to throw his anger at?....

We do have wonderful memories... Both happy and sad.. He makes me feel happy and loved... He lightens up my day... Sends me sweet messages... We were in love...

But all that didn't happen since god knows when?...

Am I too demanding?... My tears are worth nothing now... My heart began to ache so much....

Why can't you put your pride and ego aside and let me have some space in your heart?....

I feel so miserable...
My friends and my family is all I got left...
But...
My parents are not always at home cuz they are busy working....
My lil brother always spends his time at my gran's crib...
My friends can't always be there for me cuz they too also have problems of their own...

Guess I'm on my own now...
Guys sure love putting his pride first above anything else....